March 14, 2010

Gradually.....then Suddenly

a large dose of reality arrived on March 2nd.  My wonderful, sweet, generous, caring mother has dementia and mild Alzheimers.  On that day, my brother called me at work to tell me that Mom had an accident during the night but that everything was under control.  He and my sister had taken care of everything and settled Mom on the couch before leaving her house.  When I got off work, I called and my Dad said she asleep and had been sleeping on the couch all day.  He couldn't wake her to talk to me.  So I called my DH and said hurry home, we are heading to Portsmouth.  One hour later I find my Mom semi-conscious on the couch where she had been all day.  I called an ambulance and get her to the ER where she was admitted for dehydration and pneumonia.  She was in bad shape and was even experiencing some kidney dysfunction.  She's a fighter though and after two days of antibiotics, she had improved greatly.
Mom has been released from the hospital and is now at a nursing care center for rehabilitation therapy for at least 21 days.  On day two of all this my siblings and I, along with our father, decided that Mom will not be able to go back home.  Dad is 87 and cannot properly take care of Mom (although he thinks he can).  Now that Mom is getting proper care and her daily meds regularly, she is looking better than she has in a long time.  That my brother and Dad are back stepping thinking that Mom may go back home and it was the pneumonia that was keeping her from being herself!  I have left out tons of details for various reasons.  I am completely and totally stressed out.  My life is consumed right now with visiting my Mom as often as possible (one hour drive each way) and worrying about her future.  I'm trying to take one day a time.


Sharlotte said...

Goodness Carol! I'm really sorry to hear this. I know that this is a difficult time for all involved. I feel really bad for your dad. I know it must be really hard to take for a spouse to be sick and needing care that they can't give. I know that he must be thinking that he can take care of her as her husband like no one else could because he knows her in a way that no one else does. I hope she heals really quickly. Remember to take care of yourself in the process.

Jackie said...

Carol, I'm sorry to hear all that your family is going through. I'm glad your mother is getting the care she needs and is feeling better. It's a tough time for you all. Big Hugs.

Siobhan said...

Oh Carol, I am so sorry to hear this. I don't have any comforting words, I wish I did... but know that I'm thinking of you and your family. ((((((((((Carol))))))))

Valerie said...

Carol, I am so sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis. What a terrible time this is for you and your family. I know exactly what you are going through and my thoughts are with you.

My grandmother has Altzheimer's and she is now in stage three. My mother has taken a leave of absence from work and is living with her full time and I live two houses away for support. A nursing home is not an option for us and I sympathize with your family and the hard decisions that you are being forced to make. I am sending {{{{{HUGS}}}} and warm thoughts your way!